I find it helpful to remember that grief is a process, and everybody grieves in different ways. There isn't a "right way" to do it that will apply to everyone. There isn't a set time limit by which you should "get over it." Even the well-known stages of grief we hear about won't be relevant to every person.
Whether you are grieving the loss of a family member, a valued relationship, or your country, you can do it your way. Give yourself permission to take the time you need. Seek support from others, or don't. It is okay not to be okay. And in the case of grief, not being okay shouldn't surprise anybody!
When faced with a loss, many of us struggle to come to terms with it. Why did this happen now? What does it mean for us and our future? What changes now? How will we go on? Do we even want to go on?
In time, most of us will make sense of the loss. That's little consolation in the immediate aftermath, though. The loss stings, and it will sting for a while. Even if things do return to normal, we may never be the same. We may have lost some of ourselves. Our "faith" in humanity may have taken a hit from which it may not recover.
We may give up for a while, embracing nihilism. That is a tempting path. Wouldn't it be easier if I didn't care, if I could turn these feelings off? We could check out, but could we maintain this? Many of us will soon realize that we aren't nihilists. Like it or not, we do care.
It may take us some time, but we may come back stronger and more determined than ever. We could use the loss as an impetus for personal change, even a rallying cry of sorts. We could resolve not only to keep going but to live our authentic lives without fear. Life is short and unpredictable at times. Might that realization inspire us not to waste the time we have left?
As strange as this may sound, it is possible that our loss ends up being transformative in ways that aren't all bad. That may not be an appealing thought for some time. But I know that some of us have made it through some dark times and may even be better for it. I try to remind myself of this on days like today.
Image by Holger Langmaier from Pixabay
